Infrequently asked questions
1. Do you have a favourite cocktail?
What a question! If a gun was held to my head and I had to choose, I'd say a Sloe Gin Negroni. But I also like those coconutty lychee things they sell at overpriced sushi restaurants.
2. Do you love dogs?
Yeah, I love dogs.
2a. What kind of dogs, though?
Well, ALL dogs, naturally. But if I had to take one home right now it would be a Cavalier King Charles spaniel. An old one with a grumpy face.
3.You’re Scottish? You don’t sound Scottish.
I’m Scottish with a North American accent. Not in that annoying way when people born in North America claim to be Scottish because their great great great grandpa was Scottish. Scottish in the way that I was born there and hate spending money. My family moved around a lot while I was growing up so out of the accent lottery I got lumped with Canadian. None are more appalled by this than my parents. Don’t ask me to say mirror.
4. What would your friends say about you?
One recently told me I have the bone structure of a burrata. So I would presume they’d say I’m a warm person with shit cheekbones.
5. What's your favourite month?
6. Who would play you in a film of your life?
We’d hope for JLAW but I think it would most likely be Alan Carr in a wig.
7. Which is your favourite Fleetwood Mac song?
8. What do you believe in that is a bit stupid?
9. What do you like to put on toast the most?
PBB. Peanut butter & banana.
10. Do you get annoyed about how blustery and rude James Martin is on Saturday Kitchen and the way he asks the celebrity guests disingenuous questions and then very obviously doesn’t listen to the answers?
I do actually, yeah.
11. What is the first thing you do in the morning?
Put on my slippers and make a small sacrifice to Satan.
12. Coffee or Tea?
13. Google or Bing?
I mean come on